Dragon Gate & Toryumon, Reviewed
October 14, 2009 – Tokyo, Japan
The fat man is back to challenge for Triangle gold, so here’s the championship rundown:
Open the Dream Gate Champion: Naruki Doi
Open the Twin Gate Champions: Shingo Takagi & YAMATO
Open the Triangle Gate Champions: Masato Yoshino, BxB Hulk & PAC
Open the Brave Gate Champion: Naoki Tanisaki
Naruki Doi starts the show by introducing Kotoka Shiiba, now known only as Kotoka, as the newest member of World-1. Now only Real Hazard needs a rook on its team. Kotoka actually joined World-1 at their produce show, but though it’s already happened chronologically it won’t air on Infinity for a few weeks.
Dragon Kid {K}, Akira Tozawa {K} & El Generico {K} vs. Naruki Doi {W1}, Naoki Tanisaki {W1} & Shisa BOY
Tozawa and Tanisaki negotiate their positions as match starters. Tozawa hits a dropkick. He tries to scream in Tanisaki’s face so Tanisaki covers his mouth. BOY and Generico tag into the match. BOY hits a head scissor takedown. Kid hits a kneedrop for 2. Tozawa misses a senton. Doi hits an elbow for 2. Tozawa hits a butt butt. Kid hits a hurricanrana. Tozawa hits a suicide dive. Generico hits a backbreaker. Doi hits a dropkick and a hanging DDT for 2. Generico hits the Half & Half. Kid hits a stunner. Tanisaki tries to counter the 619 to the Implant, but Kid blocks that and gets a roll up for 2. Tanisaki hits the FH. Kid hits a stunner. Tozawa misses the Apron Kara Tozawa, but still manages to block the DH. Tanisaki hits a fisherman buster for 2. He hits the DH and BOY hits a moonsault for 2. Tozawa hits a hurricanrana for 2. Doi blocks the Ganki in vicious fashion. He hits the Doi 555. Tozawa dodges the Bakatare Sliding Kick and pins Doi for 2. Tanisaki hits the Casanova for 2. Generico hits the Yakuza kick. Kid hits the super hurricanrana. Generico hits a brainbuster for 2. BOY gets a roll up for 2. Tozawa hits an awesome German suplex out of nowhere for the win at 10:11 shown of 13:22. Fun stuff, but a little too chaotic to be anything worth getting excited about.
Rating: **¾
After the match Tozawa motions that he wants a shot at Tanisaki’s Brave Gate title. Backstage he explicitly tells Tanisaki he’s coming for the belt. The match gets made for November 8.
The Zetsurins did nothing to earn this title shot, as they were soundly defeated by World-1 in their first attempt at the titles a few weeks before this. If anything, the strong showing by Susumu Yokosuka against World-1 in six-man tag matches should have led to the WARRIORS-5 getting a shot here. Instead Yokosuka will be going after Doi’s title and the fat man gets a shot at the Triangle Gate that he doesn’t deserve.
Masato Yoshino © {W1}, BxB Hulk © {W1} & PAC © {W1} vs. Masaaki Mochizuki {Z}, Don Fujii {Z} & Akebono {Z} [Open the Triangle Gate Championship Match]
Hulk and Fujii start. They trade strikes until Fujii dumps Hulk. He hits a crossbody off the apron. PAC and Mochizuki dodge each other’s offense. Yoshino avoids Akebono’s big slap, showing he’s learned from their first encounter. Akebono takes control with a charge on all three opponents. He hits Yoshino with the big slap. Everyone brawls around the building. Fujii and Akebono hit sumo slaps. Akebono tackles Fujii by mistake. In the ring PAC hits Mochizuki with a dropkick for 2. Hulk hits a senton and PAC hits a corkscrew moonsault off of Hulk’s back for 2. Mochizuki comes back with kicks. Akebono slaps Hulk’s chest. Fujii hits a back elbow for 2. Akebono stands on Hulk’s stomach with Fujii on his back. Fujii clotheslines Mochizuki by mistake and Hulk tags out of the match. Yoshino hits the Sling Blade. PAC hits a big dive to the floor. Yoshino puts on the Coumori. Hulk puts Mochizuki in an anklelock. PAC wants to join in the submission fun, so Hulk helps him dropkick Akebono’s knees and they put on anklelocks. Mochizuki makes the save. He kicks the crap out of Hulk. Akebono hits an avalanche. Hulk blocks suplexes from Mochizuki and Fujii but gets slammed by Akebono. That gets 2. Akebono misses an elbowdrop. PAC hits a springboard dropkick. So does Hulk. Yoshino hits the shotgun dropkick, allowing his partners to hit a double back suplex. PAC hits a shooting star press for 2. Akebono is too big for the From Jungle, so Yoshino puts on an armbar. He puts on the Sol Naciente, with Hulk and PAC rolling Akebono over to get the hold on. Fujii makes the save. Yoshino goes for the Lightning Spiral like an idiot. Akebono easily blocks and Fujii hits a lariat to the back. He hits a kneedrop to the back. He hits a vertical suplex for 2. He hits a powerbomb and feeds Yoshino to Mochizuki for the Twister. Akebono hits an elbowdrop for 2. Yoshino recovers entirely too quickly and throws Fujii in the way of the Sankakugeri. Hulk hits the EVO for 2. Akebono splashes Fujii by mistake. World-1 make a serious of stupid looking mistakes, and ten all get splashed by Akebono for 2. Fujii hits PAC with a chokeslam. Akebono follows suit for the win and the titles at 19:08 shown of 20:47.
Just kill me now. I have a few things to say about Akebono in general. The initial venom the result produced was shouted down by people who said Akebono fit the role well. To put things in perspective, the titles didn’t get defended for over two months after this because Akebono wasn’t available for Dragon Gate dates. That only adds to the fact that the fat bastard can’t physically do anything in the ring, so unless his roll is “guy who makes matches less interesting” I’m not sure what people think he’s doing in Dragon Gate. And that’s not all I hate about Akebono. Back in 2002, long before I’d ever heard of Akebono, when I was in college I had a Shinto studies professor tell me that Akebono’s status as yokozuna in sumo (he’d recently retired) was a big problem for Japanese nationalism, as he was the first foreigner to reach the top accomplishment in the sport. Also, he’s so damn fat that he can’t even abide by Dragon Gate tag rules, which are lenient to begin with. All he’d have to do for his opponents to be legal is roll out of the ring. But the guy is so big that he just spends all his time huffing and puffing inside the ring, so his partners are never the legal man! So, yeah, Akebono sucks. As for the match itself, for a while it was actually a little better than the first meeting between these teams, with World-1 finding fun ways to get around Akebono’s size. However, down the stretch everything Yoshino did looked stupid, from no-selling multiple finishers to blatantly repositioning himself for spots and strikes. So call it about even.
Rating: ***
A belt extension has to be added so Akebono can wrap the title around the ocean of fat he calls a waist. Gamma comes down to the ring and attacks Akebono. Akebono no-sells everything of course. Gamma lays claim to a title shot, since the WARRIORS-5 defeated World-1 on two recent occasions. KAGETORA will join him, and he says their third partner will be someone not currently in the group, but doesn’t say who it is. They will meet on November 6 in a non-title match, because Akebono can’t be bothered to show up again in 2009 and will be replaced by Super Shisa. So I ask, why give a guy a title when he won’t be around for over two months?!
Four days ago Turboyan (Don Fujii) and Turboness (K-ness) fell to Genki Horiguchi and Cyber Kong. After the match Anthony Turbo. Mori ran out and made a preemptive save, just in case Real hazard might get violent. The Turbos will fight Real Hazard again on PPV in November.
Also on this show Shisa BOY defeated MAZADA by disqualification when MAZADA ripped off BOY’s mask. Super Shisa made the save but Real Hazard numbers eventually got the better of him. Saito and MAZADA shook hands after the match, freaking out the commentators but surprising nobody else. Later in the night the Shisas teamed with Mori and Dragon Kid in a losing effort against MAZADA and Real Hazard when Saito ripped BOY’s mask off and pinned him. After the match Yoshino made the save. He and Kid will face MAZADA and Saito on the PPV. I love how the Shisas got completely written out of that storyline in less than 5 minutes of TV time.
Back to the show on the 14th, Kotoka, who’d promised to pin Cyber Kong earlier in the show, gets Cyber Bombed and loses his first singles match on Infinity (clipped to the finish of course). Backstage Doi drags Kotoka up to Real Hazard and challenges them to an 8 man tag on November 6.
The show ends with Doi, and his arch nemesis the baseball penguin shilling their t-shirt. Next week Yasushi Kanda and Kenichiro Arai get their shot at the Twin Gate titles in a match where no allies are allowed at ringside!

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