February 14, 2008 – Tokyo, Japan
Where to begin? MEN’S CLUB is a Men’s Teioh run show, and Shinobu and Makoto Oishi also seem to have important, less than heterosexual, roles. As such this is a gay-themed show. Shockingly Danshoku Dino is not involved. Yuki Ono was involved however, and it was while he was working for Dragon Gate so I’ll suffer through it.
Yuki Ono, Madoka, Naoshi Sano & Yuki Sato vs. Ryuji Ito, Abudullah Kobayashi, Jaki Numazawa & Atsushi Ohashi vs. HARASHIMA, Muscle Sakai, Tanomasaku Toba & Masa Takanashi vs. Onryo, Yuko Miyamoto, Senpai & Konaka=Pelwan vs. Do S Kansyu, Daisaku Shimoda, Kamui & Kankuro Hoshino vs. GENTARO, Munenori Sawa, Shiryu & Need Tejima
This is essentially a capture the flag match, with team captains wearing headbands that must be captured. This turns into a big game of chicken. Shinobu sings on the outside as the action goes on. Ono’s team wins the game of chicken. Everyone brawls. Another game of chicken breaks out. I’m totally lost. Everyone beats on Yuki Sato. Ono knocks Sawa off the shoulders of his teammates. Sawa hits Sato with a huge Shining Wizard. He grabs Sato’s flag at 6:66 and wins the match for his team. I don’t think I described the match well at all, and I’m a bit ashamed for having watched it. Sawa’s team is given an oversized dildo as a trophy, but the head is comically censored. Things I never thought I’d write in my life.
Yuki Ono, Kankuro Hoshino, Abdullah Kobayashi & Muscle Sakai vs. Tanomasaku Toba, Shiryu, Atsushi Ohashi & Konoka=Pelwan
This is billed as the fat guys vs. the skinny guys. Kobayashi and Shiryu start. Kobayashi hits a shoulder tackle. Shiryu gets in a yoga pose that makes him impervious to pain. Kobayashi takes off his sweatpants and shoves his bare ass into Shiryu’s face, but Shiryu won’t flinch. Kobayashi approaches him with his crotch, so Shiryu hits a dropkick. Ono absorbs Pelwan’s offense and hits a crotch thrust. He hits a gut butt. Hoshino, dressed as a fat queer dominatrix, hits Toba with a whip. Toba hits a high kick. Sakai kicks Ohashi around the ring. Ohashi hits a dropkick. He hits a couple more but Sakai absorbs them and hits a clothesline. Kobayashi tickles Ohashi. He’s still wearing a thong and it’s too gross for words. He puts on an abdominal stretch. Ono puts on a purple nurple. Hoshino keeps the fruity offense going. He hits a back elbow and an avalanche. He hits a dropkick off the top. Sakai hits a delayed vertical suplex for 2. Everyone feels Ohashi up in the corner. Sakai hits a powerbomb for 2. The fat guys hit a quadruple avalanche. They are tricked into colliding with each other in the middle of the ring. A quadruple sunset flip gets 2 for the skinny guys. They hit a quadruple dropkick. They all hit big moves on Hoshino for 2. Hoshino comes back with the Shining Wizard. Pelwan gets a crucifix pin for the win at 9:31. While not as bizarre as the last match, it was full of enough indy scum to lose my attention about three minutes in.
Rating: *¾
Ono is also involved in the main event battle royal, in which everyone is fighting for a box of chocolates. However, it’s too goofy and features too many naked men covered only by a graphic of Teioh’s face for me to do play by play. I’m not sure what American wrestling fan would be into this, but if homoeroticism is your cup of tea (and I mean significantly more than you typically get with wrestling) then check this out.
