291March 7, 2013 – Tokyo, Japan

Open the Dream Gate Champion: CIMA
Open the Triangle Gate Champions: Naruki Doi, Rich Swann & Shachihoko BOY
Open the Brave Gate Champion: Dragon Kid
Open the Twin Gate Champions: BxB Hulk & Uhaa Nation
Open the Freedom Gate Champion: Johnny Gargano
Open the United Gate Champions: CIMA & AR Fox

The Veteran Army and Mad Blankey have a full confrontation to start the show. The Veterans work it out so that the main event is an elimination match, making it so that Stalker Ichikawa isn’t such a burden. Ichikawa and Dragon Kid team up to face Uhaa Nation in an arm wrestling match, but the big man easily beats both Veterans to get the entrance advantage for his team in the main event.

Naruki Doi {W1}, Masato Yoshino {W1} & Shachihoko BOY {W1} vs. Genki Horiguchi H.A.Gee.Mee. {J}, Jimmy Susumu {J} & Jimmy Kanda {J}
Horiguchi and Doi start, as they are wont to do lately. Doi rips out Horiguchi’s hair. BOY hits Kanda with armdrags. He hits the head scissor takedown. Yoshino does the same to Susumu. He hits a quebrada. Doi hits the hanging senton on Horiguchi for 2. Horiguchi hits BOY with an elbow. Yoshino gives him the elastic band to the face. Horiguchi miraculously nails Doi with the band. Kanda hits a suicide dive. Horiguchi hits the topé con hilo. Susumu and Doi fight over an exploder, which Susumu hits for 2. Doi hits a dropkick. BOY hits the standing Shiranui and Doi hits a senton for 2. Yoshino hits a dropkick. He hits the elevated facebuster for 2. Kanda hits BOY with a side slam. BOY rolls Susumu up for 2. Susumu hits a lariat for 2. Kanda hits the flying elbowdrop for 2. Doi hits a neckbreaker. He hits the Doi 555. Susumu hits the Jumbo no Kachi. BOY hits an enziguiri. Yoshino hits the shotgun senton for 2. BOY hits a quebrada. Yoshino hits Kanda with the Torbellino and Lightning Spiral for the win at 13:08. This was an excellent opener, kept light, fast, and energetic and you like.
Rating: ***¼

Kikutaro © vs. Ryo “Jimmy” Saito {J} [Open the Owarai Gate Championship Match]
Saito powers Kikutaro to the ropes to start. They fight over a wristlock. Kikutaro gets to the ropes. Referee Yagi gets caught up in the action. Kikutaro hits a low blow. He hits another directly in front of Yagi. He tugs on Saito’s nose and goatee. They goof around over a DDT spot, but Saito hits a suplex instead. Yagi hits Saito with a clothesline in the corner. Saito gives a speech and goes for the Cycling Yahoo but Kikutaro rolls away from it. Saito blocks another Yagi clothesline. Yagi hits Kikutaro with a DDT, giving Saito the win at 7:15. The fans also prefer Saito, so he wins the Owarai Gate title.
Rating: **

Mr. Quu Quu Naoki Tanizaki Toyonaka Dolphin {J} vs. Super Shisa {MG}
They do some really cool chain wrestling to start. Shisa puts on the Romero Special and leans back for 2. He puts on a funky leglock and gets a roll up for 2. Dolphin hits a facebuster. He hits another out of the corner. He hits a DDT for 2. Shisa brings him out of the corner and goes for the Yoshi Tonic. Dolphin blocks it and they trade roll ups. Shisa gets a small package for 2. He hits European uppercuts. Dolphin hits the FH and Casanova for 2. He hits the Implant for the win at 6:52. This was like two mini matches in one, with the opening containing some very interesting mat wrestling, and the second half being a run of the mill back-and-forth match.
Rating: **¼

Don Fujii {Z} vs. Jimmy Kagetora {J} vs. Rich Swann {W1} [Wrestling/Singing/Drinking Match]
Everyone sings over their entrances. Swann butchers “Billy Jean.” Seriously, he butchers it like your ex girlfriend butchered that unborn baby you put in her. Fujii steals Swann’s fedora and attacks him. Fujii and Kagetora trade shoulder tackles. Kagetora sits down and takes a drink, so Swann dropkicks him. Swann hits a dropkick. Everyone takes a drink. Fujii beats on both opponents. He hits Swann with a lariat. He hits a chokeslam. He slams Kagetora off the top rope. He chokeslams Swann onto Kagetora for 2. He hits an Airplane Spin on Swann. Swann takes a drink from Fujii’s bottle and discovers that it’s filled with orange juice, not whiskey. Kagetora confirms the treachery. Yagi triple-checks, and then disqualifies Fujii at 4:20. Well, that’s hilarious. Fujii could have legitimately turned heel there given the crowd’s reaction to his lies.Swann hits Kagetora with a Frankensteiner. He hits a running SSP for 2. He takes a big drink and wobbles before collapsing. Kagetora hits a Giant Swing for 2. He gets a rolling cradle for the win at 6:35. You can’t beat the logic of that finish. This was kind of fantastic in its own quirky way. Kagetora takes a “refreshing” drink from his bottle after the match and almost yacks, but then keeps drinking to show he’s the best drinker in Dragon Gate.
Rating: ***

K-ness {MG} vs. Shingo Takagi {A}
The Windows have been mostly dominating Akatsuki in this feud. They lock up to start. Takagi hits a shoulder tackle. They trade chops. Takagi dumps K-ness and rams his back into the apron. He hits a double stomp. He hits a diving elbowdrop for 2. He levels K-ness with an elbow. K-ness comes back with a high kick. He hits an enziguiri. He hits a vertical suplex. He hits a swinging DDT but Takagi recovers and hits a lariat. Takagi hits the uranage and the Sliding Bomber for 2. K-ness hits the Kaishaku and a Shouryuukyaku for 2. He puts on the Aoki Hikari. Takagi powers out and hits a DVD. He hits a lariat in the corner. He hits the STAY DREAM. He hits the Pumping Bomber for 2. K-ness gets a victory roll for 2. Takagi hits MADE IN JAPAN for 2. He hits it again for 2. K-ness blocks the Pumping Bomber. He hits the Shouryuukyaku. He gets a sunset flip for 2. He gets the Hikari no Wa for 2. He hits the Shouryuukyaku. He hits the Darkness Buster for 2. He hits the Kaishaku and then a few nasty Tree of Woe kicks to the head. He props up Takagi and hits the Razor’ Edge for the win at 17:17. K-ness had to struggle for every single move that he hit, and couldn’t win until he got Takagi stuck in the corner. This pretty much smoked K-ness’ match against YAMATO, and Takagi’s match against Arai.
Rating: ***¾

After the match, a confident K-ness calls out CIMA. He wants a shot at the Dream Gate title. CIMA is more than happy to accept K-ness’ very first challenge for the Dream Gate.

Kotoka © {MG}, Kenichiro Arai {MG} & Cyber Kong vs. Chihiro Tominaga © {A}, YAMATO {A} & Super Shenlong {A} [Captain’s Fall Match]
Everyone brawls to start. Takagi takes cheap shots on Kotoka from the floor. YAMATO spears Kotoka. Arai cleans house. Tominaga and Shenlong take over. Kong takes them out with lariats. He hits Tominaga with the Cyber Driver for 2. Kotoka hits a dropkick. YAMATO nails Kotoka, busting his nose. Kotoka fights back. He hits YAMATO with an elbow. Arai cleans house again. Kong hits a lariat and a press slam to the floor. Arai hits a suicide dive. Tominaga traps Kong in an illegal armbar. He hits a dropkick. He hits something so confusing I can’t tell whether it was supposed to be a knee kick or an elbow. This kid doesn’t have it. Shenlong hits Kotoka with a leg lariat. He and Tominaga hit a double dropkick. Kotoka suplexes Tominaga. Kong hits the Cyber Combination for 2. He hits the Doomsday Device for 2. YAMATO hits a dropkick and a brainbuster for 2. Shenlong hits a dropkick and YAMATO hits a German suplex. Shenlong hits a diving Skyhigh for 2. Kotoka blocks the Galleria and Arai hits a Tombstone Piledriver. Kong hits the Pineapple Bomber. Shenlong and Tominaga suplex him. Shenlong hits a plancha. Kotoka counters the cross armbreaker to a roll up on Tominaga for 2. He hits a dropkick. Arai hits the Hanshin Tiger Suplex. Kotoka hits the diving double stomp twice for the win at 16:28. Fun match, with Kotoka looking lethal as usual. He has so much momentum right now it’d be a total crime if they didn’t do something with him after this angle was over. I’m thinking, Brave Gate.
Rating: ***½

After the match YAMATO pisses and moans about the loss. He asks Arai for a singles match away from his loss-prone partners. Arai accepts, and thanks Kong for his help in the match. Kotoka takes the mic and tells Takagi that he wants a singles match against the Pumping Hawk. This kid has stones. Takagi accepts. YAMATO turns to Tominaga and tries to smack him, but Tominaga ducks and smacks YAMATO. Tominaga apologizes and insists that he and Shenlong start over in dark matches. I don’t think Shenlong needs the punishment, but I can’t say I’ll miss Tominaga.

CIMA {Z}, Masaaki Mochizuki {Z}, Dragon Kid {Z}, Stalker Ichikawa {Z} & HUB {Z} vs. Akira Tozawa {MB}, BxB Hulk {MB}, Uhaa Nation {MB}, Mondai Ryu {MB} & Kzy {MB} [Elimination Match]
Tozawa and Kid start. Tozawa attacks before the bell. Kid hits a dropkick. Tozawa hits him with a chair. He hits the double suicide dive. He hits a bodyslam and chokes Kid. Ryu comes out next. He and Tozawa choke Kid in the corner. Mochizuki is out next. He realizes Kid is in trouble and forgoes his slow entrance to rush the ring. He cleans house with kicks. Hulk is out next. He dropkicks Mochizuki. HUB is out next. He whips Hulk. Kzy is out next. Mochizuki hits him with a back kick. CIMA is out next. Ryu salts him while his sunglasses are still on. CIMA gloats, so Tozawa waits for the glasses to come off and then salts him again. A chinlock chain breaks out. Nation is out last for Mad Blankey. He no sells the Veterans’ dropkicks and cleans house with lariats. He hits Mochizuki with a powerslam. Ichikawa is out last for the Veterans. Nation eliminates him over the top rope immediately at 12:20. Things slow down as everyone tries to get everyone else over the top. Kid hits Ryu with the 619. He hits Kzy with a head scissor takedown. CIMA hits Hulk with a double stomp. He hits Tozawa with a suplex. He, HUB, and Kid hit a triple suicide dive. Mochizuki hits Nation with the SicK Kick for 1. He gets a roll up for 1. Ryu hits a low blow. Mochizuki hits a high kick and the Twister to eliminate Ryu at 21:52. Kid hits a stunner on Kzy. Kzy hits the B-Boy. He hits the Beat Bomb for 2. CIMA lets him hit KZ Time, but HUB blocks it anyway. Kid hits the Skyscraper Frankensteiner. CIMA hits the Perfect Driver for 2. Kid hits the Bible to eliminate Kzy at 24:20. CIMA blocks Hulk’s senton but Nation suplexes CIMA and HUB. CIMA hits a superkick on Tozawa. He goes up top but Blankey attacks and Hulk and Nation put him out with dropkicks at 26:45. Tozawa hits HUB with a brainbuster for 2. Ichikawa salts Tozawa and HUB hits the Armageddon for the elimination at 27:05. He hits the Jackhammer on Hulk for 2. Hulk hits a vertical suplex for 2. HUB ducks the First Flash and gets a roll up for 2. Hulk hits his funky suplex and the First Flash to eliminate HUB at 28:52. Mochizuki kicks the crap out of Hulk for 2. Nation cleans house. Hulk hits the Mouse. Kzy hits a yellow box attack. Hulk and Mochizuki end up over the top on the apron. They kick the crap out of each other and fall to the floor at 30:53. Nation hits Kid with a lariat. Kid hits the Bible for 2. Blankey gangs up on Kid. The Veterans gang up on Nation. Nation blocks the Ultra Hurricanrana and hits a double powerbomb for 2. He hits the Uhaa CombiNation for the win at 31:53. This was rather predictable all around, and they really need to make sure the first 10 minutes of these matches don’t get stale like this one did. The action down the stretch was perfectly acceptable and well performed, but it broke no new ground.
Rating: ***¼

HUB and Kid don’t take the loss or Tozawa’s bragging well, and challenge him and Hulk to a tag match. That’s accepted, but Ichikawa’s challenge to Nation is ignored save for a hard shove.